Today I turn 50 years old!!

I am very excited to get to turn 50! Part of the reason for that is: on Oct 15 of 2002, I attempted suicide. 

I was in such a dark place. I was out of the anti-depressants I had been taking for years, I was emotionally miserable and the voices in my head told me that life was too hard, would never get better or easier and that those I loved would be better off without me. Fortunately the person I was with at that time woke up 10 minutes later and knew I had done something, so took me to the hospital. The next day I had anti-depressants which helped some, but I was still very unhappy. I tried many things over the next few years to get happy, including prescription and illegal drugs, change of environment, change of relationships, but nothing really helped.

Then in March of 2006 I admitted myself to the local psychiatric hospital because I was having suicidal thoughts again. I stayed there for 10 days and got on some medications, but when I was discharged I went right back to my same lifestyle. There is no anti-depressant made that will counteract the come down from meth!! So I was still having massive up and downs. But fortunately God intervened soon after that!!

Today, my life is amazing!! I am happy! I am content! I like myself and I love my life! I have been clean for over 10 years, have worked the 12 steps multiple times, I have a wonderful relationship with Heavenly Father and many great relationships with family and friends!

Today I wouldn’t trade my life for anything!

So you can see why I am very happy to be turning 50!!

(((HUGS)))

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