For a long time, I blamed anyone and everyone for my problems: If I was unhappy it had to be my significant other’s fault; I used because I couldn’t stand the pain from my fibro; any thing and everything to justify what I did and to put the blame any where but where it belonged. On me!
When I got into recovery I was introduced to personal responsibility. Today I love personal responsibility. There is great freedom to being responsible for my own actions, feelings and reactions to my life.
Today, I am responsible for me! I am responsible for my decisions, my actions, my re-actions, my happiness, my serenity, my relationship with God!! There is huge freedom in not giving that responsibility away. Yes, it makes me accountable, which can be scary, but the end result to me, is worth the work.
Today, I can be happy regardless of how anyone else is feeling or acting; I can be serene even if everyone else has drama going on in their life.
At the same time, I am also responsible for my part in all of my relationships. I can no longer blame my friends for us not talking; I get to pick up the phone and call them if we haven’t talked in a while.
I am also responsible for my own feelings; if the craziness in my head gets overwhelming, I am the one who has to reach out and get help to see reality; if my feelings are hurt, it is my responsibility to talk with someone and get things straightened out.
I am responsible for how I treat others; if I do something to hurt someone’s feelings, I get to take responsibility for that and make amends.
Taking responsibility for my actions and feelings took time. I had to start small and work up to the rest. Today I try to be responsible for all of my actions, reactions and feelings. This requires work, but the rewards are well worth the effort.
Because of this, today, I don’t have to have someone “love” me for me to be ok with myself! I am good enough today, just because “I am” not because someone else “loves” me or accepts me!! This is a major one for me!! I spent years trying to find my own self-esteem through the eyes of other people.
(((HUGS))) I hope you all have a great week full of blessings.