The story of me m1.1

“What is your earliest memory of feeling proud of yourself?”

I’m smart and I learn quickly and easily. I’m not bragging, God is the one that gave me this talent. It is what it is. I have always been smart. The earliest I really remember is 2nd grade. I remember them taking me and a few other kids out of our classroom and having us do some tests. The result of those tests were that a boy in my class and I got to attend “special classes”. It wasn’t anything drastic, we got to do silly stuff. A few simple experiments is mostly what I remember. I was in that same school through 4th grade and continued to go to the “special classes”. In 4th grade, we got to go see an archaeological dig somewhere not to far from Phoenix. That was great! I really enjoyed getting to see the ancient native american dig site.

I attended multiple schools between then and 12th grade. I was always in the advanced classes if they were available. Unfortunately by the time I got to 12th grade I had become a slacker. I was inducted into the National High School Honor Society in my Junior year of High School. I only attended 1 of their meetings. I quit school in the 2nd semester of 12th grade. That is one of the few decisions that I wish I could go back and change.

Yes, learning quickly and being smart did make me feel proud as a child. Today, actually being smart is not what makes me feel proud of myself, because, like I said, I didn’t have anything to do with that. I was born smart. What does make me proud these days is what I do with my intelligence. Because that is up to me. When I make intelligent decisions, when I learn new things, when I use my intelligence to help others, those are when I am using my brains in the right way. When I develop the talents that God gave me, that is when I know that I am doing the right thing today!!

LTP

I hope that y’all are enjoying my #52stories blogs as much as I am enjoying writing them. I plan on printing all of them out and putting them with my journals. I may even upload some to FamilyHistory.org.

Have a beautiful day!!!

The story of me w3.1

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I am actively working on many goals right now:

my annual yearly goal of reading the Book of Mormon every morning utilizing bofm365 by LDS living on instagram

I am working diligently to be consistent with writing my blogs

I am being consistent with walking at least two times per week

I added a new on this year – I am reading the Doctrine and Covenants every morning via dandc365 on instagram

Of course I am working to stay clean each day and being an active member of NA

I am working the 12 steps again this year – 1 step each calendar month – out of the Basic Text, with my sponsor

I am working the 12 Traditions out of “Guiding Principles”, with a group of ladies in my sponsorship down line

I have other goals for this year, but some of them I can’t do right now, like the “Book of Mormon Translation challenge”. It is from April 6th until June 30th. It is a challenge I found by a member “Brother Simon” on Facebook a couple of years ago. I will participate this year again.

I have a goal of attending the LDS Temple in OK City at least 4 times this year, but haven’t been yet.

I hope you all have a happy Tuesday

(((HUGS)))

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My process

I have been realizing lately about the process, my process. I have heard in the 12 step program that I attend for years about “it” being a process. I have understood for years that the 12 steps are a process, I had to work them in order and as I did each step, I was ready for the next step. So, understanding that process came pretty early in my recovery.

But recently, I have been seeing more as a process. I have realized that I had to learn to be honest with myself before I could be honest with anyone else. I had to learn that Heavenly Father truly loved me and wanted the best for me before I could begin the process of learning to obey His laws and keep my covenants with Him. As I began obeying God’s laws, I began seeing the blessings that God gives me for doing so and I began seeing other blessings that come from obeying the “plan of happiness”.

I lived from about the age of 16 until I got clean at 39.5 living my life the way I thought was going to make me happy and I ended up miserable. Truly miserable. Begging God to please just let me die, miserable.

I started learning how to live, not in my will, but in God’s will and I started getting happy. And today, 10 years later, doing my best to live in God’s will, I am happier than I ever expected to be!

At some point, I finally realized that God didn’t give (for example) the Word of Wisdom, to restrict me. He gave it to protect me. For me personally, smoking cigarettes, drinking alcohol and using drugs took me to a miserable place. So, even though I am not ashamed of it today, because it has made me the person that I am today, and I like me today. If I had not started smoking cigarettes, I may have never smoked a joint, then I would never have started using meth, and those are a few things that I wish I had missed. God warned me not to use those things because He loves me and he knows how the “natural man” in me reacts to those physical stimulants.

He knows and now I know, that I can’t work on things like “loving all of God’s people unconditionally” or pray for “charity” or the other stuff that God has Patty working on right now if I was still so caught up in the things that the “natural man” loves.

So, I have finally come to the place in my life where I’m not obeying commandments and keeping covenants because I am scared of punishment, I obey them because I know that they are truly meant for my happiness, and because “if you love me, keep my commandments”. It is a lot easier to keep my covenants that I have  made with Heavenly Father because I love Him and I know that He loves me and I know that He truly wants what’s best for me. Plus, it truly is one of the ways that I can show gratitude to Heavenly Father and His Son for all that they have given to me.

Today I realize that for Patty, their is freedom in obedience. I might say that I wish I had learned this earlier, but I am just so very glad that at least I did learn this!!

(((HUGS)))

 

 

The story of me – m1.5

What do you consider your greatest academic achievement.

I went to LPN school in 1991. At the end of the year we did what was referred to as “mock boards” which were a practice test for our state board certification tests. There was a possible 850 points. I scored 800 points, at the time that was the highest score of anyone in any of teacher’s classes ever.

I graduated with an LPN certificate in December 1991. I took and passed my state board test in April of 1992 giving me an LPN license for 5 years. I loved working as an LPN!!

The story of me, m1.6 (month 1, question #6)

What is a bad habit you are proud that you have overcome? How did you do it?

I am a recovering drug addict, I have 10 years (my clean date is Sept. 2, 2006) clean from drugs (illegal and prescription) and alcohol. I also was addicted to gambling, I have not gambled since August of 2009. I was addicted to written pornography and have not read any since May of 2013. I quit drinking coffee in late March of 2014. But the habit that was the most difficult to quit was smoking cigarettes.

I was arrested on Sept 1, 2006 and spent 10 days in jail, that is how I got clean from drugs and alcohol. I just never picked any back up after I got out of jail. (I got a lot of help in this initially from Sebastian county Drug Court testing me 3 times a week). Soon after that I became a member of my 12 step program, started working steps and developed a relationship with Heavenly Father. This relationship is what helped me not pick up drugs after that and to quit gambling. Heavenly Father led me back to reading the Book of Mormon and going to church in early 2013 and those things are what gave me the strength to stop reading pornography and stop drinking coffee.

The cigarettes though, they were tough. I knew for 1 1/2 to 2 years before I was finally able to quit on 2 Oct 2013 that it was God’s will for me to quit. I tried all kinds of things, I tried vaping, I tried tapering off, I quit for a few days or a few hours a hundred times or more. I was so afraid that I was never going to be able to stop.

Finally, I set myself a quit date Sept 2, 2013. I got a priesthood blessing from some of the gentlemen from the ARP meeting I attended. I only smoked 1 cigarette on the 2nd, then 2 on the 3rd then 4 on the 4th, then I was smoking a pack a day again. The two missionaries assigned to our ward visited my family pretty regularly back then. They told me about the churches smoking cessation program and I agreed to participate. We set the date for Monday night of Oct 1st. I wanted to not smoke before they came over and we did the program, but that didn’t work, I smoked 2 cigarettes that day, the last one about 30 minutes before Elder Phelps and Elder Gulbranson came to my house. They had told me to buy orange juice and cinnamon mouth wash, I did. When they came over, the first thing I did was sign a declaration of independence from smoking for myself. I signed and agreed that I would not smoke any more. Even while I was signing it, I was afraid that I was not going to be able to do it. They went over with me that as soon as I get up in the morning, instead of smoking a cigarette, I should brush my teeth and use the mouthwash. Then drink lots of water and orange juice to get the nicotine out of my system as quickly as possible. They gave me these silly little sayings the put up all over the house. They said things like “1 puff will take you back to a pack a day”, etc. Then at the end the Elders gave me a priesthood blessing, and during that blessing, I felt things just change, or line up or I don’t know how to explain it, but at that moment I just knew that I never had to smoke another cigarette, and I haven’t!! It is amazing. I was so scared that I was never going to be able to let them go and today sometimes I forget that I really smoked for that long.

 

 

The story of me, week 2.1

Ok, so things have changed a little bit on the #52stories. I can no longer locate the blog where there were just 52 questions. But I did locate 52 questions in picture form. There are also a lot more questions if you are interested. There is also the blog “Define your dash”, you should go read it here.

Below is the question for the first week of January, as you see it is different from the question that I answered last week (in the first week of January). So, I am going to answer this question in today’s blog and then answer the question for this week later this week.

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My new goals for this year are simple:

  1. I will be consistent at writing my blog (at least 1 blog a week for 52 weeks)
  2. I will be consistent with my exercising (exercise at least 2 times a week for 52 weeks)
  3. I will attend sacrament meeting every Sunday that it is held
  4. I am working 2 sets of steps this year (I am writing out of the NA Basic Text, chapter 4 “How It Works” steps 1 thru 12, 1 step each month and I am going through the new NA book “Guiding Principles – The Spirit of our Traditions” 1 tradition each month with a couple of ladies in my sponsorship downline in a group setting).
  5. Attend the temple at least 4 times this year.

 

Of course this is in addition to the stuff that I have already incorporated in my daily life. Like: I get on my knees every morning and night to say formal prayers; I read the Book of Mormon every morning utilizing BofM365 by LDS Living on Instagram; I read the “Just For Today” meditation every morning; I talk to my NA sponsor regularly and utilize her as my sponsor; I regularly attend NA meetings; I regularly attend my stake LDS Addiction Recovery Program meeting; I am of service regularly, whether it is in NA, in my ward or stake calling, to my family or in other ways; this is not all that I do regularly, but it is all that I can think of right now, haha.